Awhile back I was spending way too much time on forums and loops. Deciding I needed to take a break and spend more time writing, I deleted my subscriptions. But I missed the friendships and now that I’m getting published, I decided to reward myself by rejoining the writing world. But I forgot those online groups weren’t all roses and rainbows. You see, I forgot about those online bullies.
You know them, you’ve encountered them, you’ve probably argued with them a time or two. There’s always at least one in each group. The know it all, the person who fights about every issue, the person you can’t possibly win a battle against because let’s face it, they’re slightly insane and you can’t win an argument against a crazy person. Yes, I forgot about those online trolls/bullies, whatever you want to call them. It’s been only a couple months since I’ve been back in the online writing world, but already I’m having to bite my tongue more times than I can count.
I have this instant urge to come to people’s defense; those I feel are being belittled or beaten. Unfortunately, this doesn’t help much online. No matter what I, or anyone else says, the bullies are still there, the arguments go on and on and on never ending, never winning. So what do we do about these bullies? Instead of ignoring these bullies, people oddly tend to appease them. I don’t get it. But I do know a fact; there is absolutely no way to argue with these people. It’s fruitless, a no win situation. So I’ve come to the decision that the best thing to do is ignore them. But as much as I try to ignore them, it still depresses me that we, who write and read a genre that promotes love and happy endings, can be so vile to each other.
So what about you? How do you get what you want from forums/loops, without being sucked into the countless arguments that go on?
On a happier note, I have two amazing interviews coming up.
One with the lovely Donna Russo Morin, http://www.donnarussomorin.com/
And one with the enchanting young adult author Polly Shulman, http://pollyshulman.com/
Check back later for those interviews and a chance to win a book or two!
You’re absolutely right. It makes no more sense arguing with people like that. I use my delete key a lot. On one loop, if I see a bully’s name, I automatically delete.
I know what you mean, Lori. I try really hard not to get sucked into debates online…and when I do, I always end up regretting it. Even when I’m not participating, I can waste a lot of time just watching the bloffle unfold. Using a blog reader has helped me a lot, because I can keep up on the blog posts without having to actually visit the site and get invested in a debate.
i know what you mean Lori, and I think, at one time a couple of years ago we encountered the same bully eh? 😉
I just ignore them now. I don’t respond to their posts, whether it be good or bad. They aren’t even worth my thinking.
I can go on and on about a recent case of such bullying. Not involving me at all, but I was disgusted by this person’s actions. Absolutely disgusted.
Tessa’s idea is good. Blog readers rock. 🙂
Ha! Yes, Amy, you do know what I’m talking about! And Edie too, for that matter, as we’re on some of the same groups.
Forgive my ignorance, but whats a blog reader?
I agree! If I had listened to the bullies I would have never touched a keyboard again. I’ve cried more than one tear over a belittling comment. The best way to deal with these people is to not deal with them. It’s obvious attention seeking behavior. If they’re not getting attention from you, they’ll leave you alone. Of course not defending something you believe in is a damned near impossible task.
Yeah, there’s really no point arguing with people on forums, because you’re never going to change anyone’s mind about anything. I just try to enjoy the nice people and ignore the haters!
Well, you gotta keep things in perspective and realize how pathetic it is to be an ‘internet bully.’ I’ve seen them in all situations…and what amazes me is that they seem to lurk for YEARS in places where their only contribution is to complain or make snide remakrs. I envision them wait with bated breath to see how much trouble they can cause. That is why I tend to ignore folks like that. Let them squirm and wonder….dont give them the satisfaction of causing a big row. Because that’s what they live for. Because obviously, they tend to have nothing else going on in their world (I envision them home alone with a cat and tv dinners, haha) they have to go online to feel important. Its sad, really.
I’ve so cried from Internet bullies. I hope I’ve never ever ever come off as one. That would make me cry worse.